Rabbi Jarrod Grover, Beth Tikvah Synagogue

There is a fascinating dispute in Jewish law concerning the custom of lighting a Yizkor candle on Jewish holidays. While it is permitted to light fire on holidays, the Torah restricts that permission to uses which fulfill the needs of the day. For this reason, Rabbi Meir Eisenstaedter, chief rabbi of Pressburg in the 19th century, ruled that it was forbidden to light a Yizkor candle on a Jewish holiday.

Eisenstaedter's ruling created much pain and distress. The community felt robbed of the visible symbols of their loss at the times when they missed them most. A few years later, Rabbi Avraham Sofer revisited the matter. With an understanding of the emotional and spiritual needs of mourners, Sofer came up with a compromise. He permitted the lighting of the Yizkor candle, but recommended that it be placed on the dining table. That way, the light from the candle would enhance the joy of the holiday and fulfill a need.

In one sense, it's quite odd to take a candle which represents the soul of a loved one, and place it on a dining table. In another sense, however, Rabbi Sofer's compromise enhances and elevates the ritual. As our tables are illuminated with the brightness of missing souls, we remember that presence can be more than physical nearness.

For many of us this Passover, those who have been near feel particularly far, in many different ways. In such circumstances, Rabbi Sofer's symbol speaks to us powerfully. Those we yearn for can still be invited to join us at our tables.As long as they illuminate our lives, they are very much present.